I know this book is very popular and you’ve probably already read it and it couldn’t hurt to get a quick refresher. In this, I will go through the 6 main parts of How to win friends and Influence people written by Dale Carnegie. I will also tell you some principles that were in them.
Part one is about the fundamental techniques in handling people.
Probably the second most important principle in the book is that you shouldn’t, criticize, condemn or complain. This has several other principles related to it. Instead of criticizing somebody, try to understand why somebody did something.
Part two is about ways to make people like you.
This principle is very simple. I mean it all you have to do is smile. Smiling can make people happier, who are in bad situations and can make a good first impression. It costs you nothing, but it to other people it can be very valuable.
Part three is about how to win people to your way of thinking.
This principle might seem a little strange depending on what I just told you, but the best way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it. (At least for the time being.) Even if you know that somebody, else is 100% wrong, don’t immediately say it. Go home and think about it. Is there any way the opponent is right, partly right, is there some truth in it? So instead of just telling them that they are wrong, postpone the action for later to give time for both parties to think it through clearly.
Part four is about how to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment or how to be an effective leader.
If you must criticize somebody, then before you do it first give praise and honest appreciation. The praise has to be honest so you can ease them into the criticisms. You have to remember is to not put a “but” between the praise and the criticisms. This will make the person think that praise is not honest. Instead, use “and” to replace “but”.
Part five is about letters that produced miraculous results.
The book is quite old and you can see this here. This will probably still work, although I’m not sure if it will work the same in emails.
In the letter or email, or whatever you will send, kindly request somebody that you need their help on something. This will give the person recognition and appreciation this is what all people want. (You will most likely also get the information you want)
Par six is about How to make your home life happier.
Don’t nag about everything you find wrong about, your children, wife, husband, any relatives. This will only make them want to avoid you as much as possible. You can try to help them with these problems, just don’t use nagging to do this. It won’t work! By nagging you, dig your marital grave the fastest way possible.
The most important principle in the book is that the principle’s in the book will only work if it’s sincere. It won’t work if you’re only using flattery!
If you haven’t read the book yet, you should! (There is a reason it is so popular after all) In the book, there are some things I mentioned here, but also many more. It also gives many real-life examples, so you know it isn’t just one guy spitting out random garbage. Even I’ve used some of these methods myself with success.
Buy the book HERE!